Fog

I’ve been in a fog of grief. It’s been hard to see backward through the fog and it’s been hard to move forward. It’s been hard to act and it’s been hard to organize. To recognize this fog is to know that I’m moving forward, out of the fog and to a better place.

I feel like I tip-toed into reorganizing my life about a year ago. I started working more on my house and on myself. I’m feeling like I’m physically in the best shape of my life and my house is shaping up to. I feel like mentally I’m catching up to the reorganization fad too.

I stared running again. I forgot how freeing that is to be taking care of yourself and your mind at the same time. I love running with no music or sound, just the thoughts in my head. The sound of my breath and my feet on the pavement. I feel alive when I run.

I’ve been running around at home too. I’ve not only been cosmetically fixing my house but I’ve also been purging. I’m not a huge fan of that word (just like those that don’t like the word moist) so we can say that I’ve been finding better homes for my once loved things. This is also a great cleanse. I’ve been so cluttered in my space that it’s been clouding my mind. It’s freeing to let go!

If you don’t walk by the items in your home and say you love it, why do you have it? Let someone else love it.

I know now that I’ve stepped out of the fog by making these changes. I’m moving forward, out of the waiting room. I can never forget what I’ve gone through, but I can, shake off those cobwebs and continue freeing myself. I can continue putting one foot in front of the other. Action leads to more action. And more is what I need.

Forward, never forgetting but continuing on.

Thanks so much to Christina of Second Firsts for helping me permanently leave the waiting room. Thanks also to the local Hospice Grief group for making me feel normal.